Thursday, January 10, 2008

NEWSFLASH from the WAGS Newsletter

First, some background information. MOST names have been changed to protect the individual's identities. Earlier last term, in an attempt to inspire script ideas for his up and coming hit TV serial "The Seducers", Vicky "Spielberg" was seen attempting to sabo Ben "Slayer" Teong by collaborating with Mouff "you REALLY won't want me to help" Chew to generate a series of events that would hopefully have caused a shotgun marriage between the Slayer and a certain someone whom we shall simply refer to as E.

The series of events began with Mouff crashing Ben's Socsci class to get to know E better followed by Vick daring Ben a pack of fags to write on E's Facebook wall the message "E. Why you don't want to talk to me anymore??" (Of course Ben accepted the dare; in accordance with his Healthy Lifestyle, a whole pack of fags was too much to turn down).

Finally however, one fine library smugging day when Ben had gone to the toilet leaving his laptop on, Mouff showed why you REALLY wouldn't want him to help-chew by hacking into Ben's Outlook Express and sending a VERY NICE email to E that went something like this:

Good morning Starshine!
This is Ben, my handphone number is ******** please call me soon. Jagshemash Qinqui! Thankiess!!

This last straw led to a further series of retaliatory acts between the Slayer and Spielberg that saw them hacking into each other's facebook accounts in order to write retarded messages on E's wall. (Examples include "E. I love you longggg time - Vick" or "Your new hairstyle a bit off - Ben", etc)

E was also soon spotted at one of the team's intensive Wednesday gym sessions, perhaps hoping to pull a few moves of her own. Unfortunately, Ben "Slayer" Teong had not been present that day at training as he had been attending to certain very pressing personal affairs that he cannot recall at this point.

However the CLIMAX is that recent paparazzi sources have identified E as being NONE OTHER than Alex "The Menace" Ong's brother, Alan Ong's girlfriend.

At this point Vick and Mouff were unavailable for comment, however Ben feels that they would no doubt like to extend their sincerest apologies to all parties involved for the scandal. When interviewed by the WAGS association, Ben's lawyer was quoted as saying: "ITS NICE!! Mouff VERYY stirred the right pot of shit this time."

More updates as they come.

In other news,
Sherman "Shermanator" Yeo would like to release a statement to certain parties that "I am NOT involved in the previous posts that go around the world. Two "Rongs", sorry I meant WRONGS, do NOT make a right. Please do not come out of retirement and prop against me. I'm still recovering from Rong Hangover from SAFSA season. Much Love and Respect, Sherman"

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