Saturday, January 5, 2008

Alex Ong the menace

More stories on the IRAUG trip in Perth...

Alex Ong is arguably one of the most interesting characters in the squad that went up to Perth.

Call him whatever you want, if there is one word to describe him; that would be “retardedly mercurial” okay that was 2 words but what the heck. For those who have known him for a long time, Alex Ong is indescribable as a human being, many have failed trying to control or contain him, just ask SMU Skipper Amos Siow who has been enduring Alex Ong’s antics for many years and recently had to add a few hundred more Alex-Ong-Moments into his already overwhelming collection while on tour in Perth.

Just to cite one of the “stunts” Alex chose to pull off just before the squad was scheduled to assemble at the airport for the trip. Alex called team-mate and President of SMUrugby Amos Siow and claimed he might have to pull out of the trip as he was having trouble packing his bag.

Reporters heard that the mercurial squirtward (from spongebob) look-alike was claiming that no one had informed him what to bring besides the items listed in the training pack. “Like how many underwears to bring?! You all never put in the list!” which the rest of the squad thought was rather absurd once they heard about the story. In the end, Amos had to go over to Alex’s penthouse and assist the helpless player in packing his underwear and socks and ferried Alex Ong to the airport to join the rest of the squad.

On tour, Alex Ong was a real menace as expected on and off the field. However it was off the field was where he was the most devastating. He continued to terrorize his 5 other unlucky roommates with his many moments which included repeating what Lionel the ‘robber’ Poh exclaimed every morning about a bastard stealing his gummies and leaving the empty pack there daily for the whole 9 days. Alex Ong would repeat the whole action word for word after Lionel Poh was done. That caused the room double the madness and some complained about the lack of rest with such antics going on at unearthly 7am hours. Alex Ong tried his best to keep his room clean but that clearly failed after half a day as many of his roommates were shocked with the amount of rubbish Alex had collected next to his bed whenever they walked by. Rumors had it that the hotel cleaning services ceased cleaning the entire room after the first night, probably in shocked as well from the amount of dirt cause by Alex alone. His roommate Sherman Yeo had secretly informed team captain Lionel Poh that he knew Alex Ong was quite chuuuii but he didn’t expect it to be so jialat” however Sherman had his own fair share of antics (as you would already know from the previous post).

On the field, with his abnormal 1.78m frame, with one look, many Australians had immediately assumed that Alex Ong was just another Asian boy waiting to be taken to school, however they were in for a rude awakening whenever Alex had the ball. Rugby scouts which included a few Western Force recruitment members were treated to a display of unbelievable strength whenever Alex had the ball and “swatted’ many of his larger counterparts away on his route to scoring. His versatility at almost any position along the backline gives SMU many options as to where to place the modern day Christian Cullen. Though he failed to bag a host of tries in Perth, his creativity aided many of the tries scored which included using eye power and some kicking to make his wing Lionel Kong work hard 3 times in a match to score from chips.

In the upcoming Tri-Universities Rugby Championship, SMU hopes that Alex Ong will continue his brilliant form and bring SMU some glory. However the coaches and management staff would like to advise Alex Ong to turn up for training first.

*The post was kindly written by vice-president Lionel Poh and Captain of the team that went up to Perth.

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